Hunger of the Pines

SONDER:: n. 

the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vidid & complex as your own -- populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries & inherited craziness -- an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you'll never know existed, in which you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted window at dusk.

I crave to know these people: to create a lengthy book out of recycled paper and fabric where I can write down each and every life story. Recently I have decided to return to UVM (after leaving my first semester). I can not wait to live in a place where I finally feel like I fit in. I want to be able to share amazing experiences with amazing people & truly live for the first time since Alyson died.

Cheers to the experiences and people that await.

Away to the Farmside

Things have been so uniform for me these past few months, so being able to do my first long distance drive up to Vermont with a distant friend was like a breath of fresh air. Escape to someplace magical and cram all the things you love like thrifting, vegan food, and fun people all in three days. Never forget to put time aside for yourself & to figure out what you need in life. Escape to someplace magical.

"The divine sees into you. Without thought, without judgement, simply with clear awareness and unknowable love. Eternity is watching you this very moment. You and it are inseparably one."

Adventures of Tofu Scrambles

Life since she passed has been, unbearable. I dream of her struggles, and the poison that led her to heaven. I feel her presence in my mind and body. I fear forgetting the memories we shared. But as much as I mourn, karma is delivering me the opportunities I need right now. I have been debating transferring for a while now to pursue a career centered around sustainability and health, and it crossed my mind to go back to vermont. At the funeral, her roommate told me she said I would go back. Some people don't believe in signs, but I can't help but believe she is helping me realize what I need to do and when.

So... in honor of savoring the last bit of the tofu in my fridge, here is a recipe for this morning's tofu scramble:

Ingredients:

warning- all measurements are estimated as I normally am experimenting

- 1/3 package firm tofu

- 1/8 cup red bell pepper (chopped)

- 1/8 cup red onion (chopped)

- 1/8 cup yellow tomato (diced)

- 1 1/2 cups baby spinach

- 1 tbsp olive oil

- 1/8 tsp curry powder

- 1/6 tsp turmeric powder 

- 1/6 tsp chili powder

For garnish: chopped chipotle pepper & dash of nutritional yeast w/ ground pepper

Instructions:

1. heat olive on in medium size pan with olive oil. chop your vegetables and add them. 
2. before your vegetables begin to sweat, drain your tofu and place the block on a plate. place a folded paper town on top and top with a heavy object. this will drain some of the water out of your tofu which prevents your tofu turning mushy in the pan. 
3. after, throw your spinach and tofu in the pan. allow to cook for a few minutes before adding in your spices.
4. top with anything your heart desires and enjoy!

Dating Yourself

(Posted originally in a contributation to Tumble Magazine)

I have constantly been faced with the challenge of figuring out my own intentions. Sometimes we get so absorbed in pleasing others, that we forget who we even are without the pressure of our peers breathing constantly down our necks. First & foremost, we have to ask ourselves why pleasing others is even important to us. Is it so we can feel like we are part of a whole? Or because we are afraid of the possibility of being alone? When you are able to answer that, you can finally approach the possibility of pleasing yourself before all else. 

Step One: Take advantage of alone time. In the morning, wake up a half hour before your family, boil water and add a squeeze of lemon, & retreat outside to listen to the world that surrounds you. If you are accustomed to waking up halfway through the day, then find a quiet place in your home, close your eyes, & listen to your breath. I have come across countless people who are incapable of alone time; however, if we can’t be alone with ourselves, how can we be alone with others?

Step Two: Discover your likes/dislikes/hopes/dreams. You don’t want to become that person who halfway through their life, discovers that they have been living according to someone else’s expectations. Don’t join a club just because your friends are. Branch out. Do something that interests you. I can assure you that you will meet people far more similar to yourself. Once you figure out what makes your heart tick & your mind race, don’t let it go. You may be one of the lucky individuals who is able to do what they love everyday (something that has become so rare).

Step Three: Learn to let go. Teenagers (girls especially) are constantly getting absorbed in ridiculous conflicts over boys, ditched plans, or silly name calling. Ask yourself: why do you care what anyone thinks of you? If you think you are the best version of yourself that you can be, then screw the people who have a problem with you. If they call you a bitch, who cares. If a boy breaks your heart, then it just was not meant to be. Move on, brush it off your shoulder, & be the mature one in the situation.

     Above all else, learn to love yourself. Love the birthmark on your stomach, the stretch marks on your thighs, your strengths & your weaknesses. By discovering who you are and staying true to your beliefs, you will never have to waste your time with people who can’t appreciate how wonderful you are.

A Voice Among Thousands

Just a few months ago, I was approached by an increasing number of people proclaiming that I was a "hippy". Funny story being I used to think everybody in Vermont was a hippy but myself. I guess that's what happens when you begin to care about more than yourself and the little sliver of the world that surrounds you. 

I chose to go to the Climate March in New York City about 36 hours before it began. Spur of the moment on Saturday night I drove with a friend (who's apartment I stayed at) right after I got out of work to her house in Brookelyn. People I am the cruise down Vermont's one-lane highways type; I am no city driver. The next morning after visiting the cutest boutique cafe, we embarked on the world's most packed subway with our fellow climate marchers.

Simply the energy is enough to attend. Each person was able to chose a category that may have influenced their participation or how they label themselves, and then march among these peers. I however, felt like I didn't have one single reason. I was there for Sandy victims, for vegans, for Vermont, I have a solution, etc. etc. I was there to empower change and add a small voice to our ongoing revolution for climate justice. My life has changed dramatically since that day.

(Lazy Ibis: Brookelyn, NY -- best iced coffee w/ almond milk)

 (I swear we were butt-to-butt)

(March of Silence @ 12:58)

We are all connected in more ways than we know. Even if it is simply changing to a reusable water bottle, creating a compost, or walking to the store.. it's a difference that counts.

" I am the dust in the sunlight, I am the ball of the sun. I am the mist of morning, the breath of evening. I am the spark in the stone, the gleam of gold in the metal, the rose and the nightingale drunk with its fragrance. I am the chain of being. "

so long summer

The time has come to say goodbye to expensive beach passes & bennies, and take advantage of the quiet lull our towns face after all the kids head back to college. In between my endless work schedule this summer I managed to get a few amazing days. To all the laughs, the trips to the city, and outdoor concerts, you will be greatly missed.

(jacket: vintage)

 (top: unknown, bottoms: urban outfitters, sweater: urban outfitters, shoes: vans, choker: northern dash)

(dress: urban outfitters, vest: buffalo exchange, sunglasses: vintage, bag: vintage, sandals: vegan birkenstocks)

(Back To Human -- 'restaurant' in NYC)

(top: brandy melville, pants: billabong, bag: urban outfitters)

(top: urban outfitters, kimono: unknown, shorts: urban outfitters, sunglasses: vintage, sandals: vegan birkenstocks)

(Flora Farms Restaurant -- Mexico)

Next post will be my fall essentials & inspiration so stay tuned! 

Blueberrie Pie Smoothie

Some people say 'fruit makes you fat'. Or some people say 'hi I'll have a 5 banana smoothie'. Personally, I'll choose the second and take my chances. Ever since I began improving my vegan diet to consist of mainly nature-based foods, fruit smoothies became a staple breakfast. This one particularly was thought of in roughly two minutes.

Vegan Blueberry Pie Smoothie 

serves: one

Ingredients:

~ 1 frozen banana, 1 unfrozen ripe banana (please do not eat green or bright yellow bananas)

~ 1 cup frozen blueberries (freezing them increases their nutritional content!)

~ 1/2-1 tsp blackstrap molasses (great for stabilizing iron deficiencies)

~ 1.5 cups coconut water (try buying from a brand such as Harvest Bay as other brands tend to pasteurize the thedrink which ultimately strips it of its nutrients)

~ 3 medjool dates

~ dash of: cinnamon, nutmeg, & allspice

~ 1 tsp of diatomaceous earth

Enjoy the rest of this beautiful day!

We're All Mad Here

If you’re living in the Western Hemisphere like me, then you are reaching the end of long summer nights, the heat of a blazing sun, and the freedom of a full day ahead. This month is the perfect time to take advantage of the weather and bring together your friends for a chance to create beautiful food and enjoy each other’s company. When I say throw a garden party—- I am referring to a fairy tale version of Alice’s tea party. Make it a wonderland.


Decor:

Garden Parties entail fresh cut flowers, lace tableclothes, fabric napkins, and twinkling lights. Primarily, set up a table in the grass (personally I would go for a floor table so everyone could sit on cushions), or a wooden table with wooden chairs. Choose a simple tablecloth free of bright colors and patterns. You could even create your own by sewing together different lace fabric pieces.

Next line the table with porcelain plates (mixing and matching looks great). As opposed to your ordinary paper napkin, choose a subtle cloth napkin. Not only is it classier, but you will also be benefiting the environment by using less paper. Place the utensils in the cloth and then wrap a piece of twine around.

It is always fun to create a seating chart & even more entertaining creating name place cards! I advise purchasing tiny succulent plants and placing a name card in each one. It will act as a gift to take home, as well as tie together the garden theme.

For center pieces I would put multiple vases and fill them with flowers such as hydrangeas. Play around and place crystals, pinecones, or any other earthy material in the center as well in order to accent the flowers. Lastly, do not neglect to decorate the surrounding areas! Wrap your trees in christmas lights, hang flowers on string, wrap the chairs in floral fabric, place tea candles and sand in mason jars, be creative!



Food:

Beverages~ The night before, cut up fresh fruit and place it in a pitcher with water & maybe some tonic water to create your own infused water! Try not to bring labeled soda cans or bottles to the table, but instead keep everything natural and fresh.

Meal Plan~ *try to think of light, natural foods* the following are all free of dairy products and meat.

     +APPS: platter of fresh veggies & homemade hummus, a large salad with spinach/apples/walnuts/tomatoes & a strawberry balsamic, gazpacho, maple roasted carrots

     +ENTREES: cauliflower rice with a vegetable stir-fry, corn (or spiralized zucchini) pasta with fresh tomato sauce/sauteed spinach/zucchini, marinated portobello burger with russian dressing & homemade french fries

     +DESSERT: coconut milk/fruit/chia popsicles, peanut butter cups, chocolate mousse with rasberry compote, watermelon cake



Playlist:

dreams of cannibalism- typhoon
open road- roo panes
difference maker- needtobreathe
please forgive my heart -bahamas
hide- little may
1904- the tallest man on earth
go mama go-michael bernard fitzgerald
I will wait for you- Lowing

Enjoy the planning, the creativity, and the amazing memories you will be making! Be sure to tell me all about your beautiful creations my loves.