Dating Yourself

(Posted originally in a contributation to Tumble Magazine)

I have constantly been faced with the challenge of figuring out my own intentions. Sometimes we get so absorbed in pleasing others, that we forget who we even are without the pressure of our peers breathing constantly down our necks. First & foremost, we have to ask ourselves why pleasing others is even important to us. Is it so we can feel like we are part of a whole? Or because we are afraid of the possibility of being alone? When you are able to answer that, you can finally approach the possibility of pleasing yourself before all else. 

Step One: Take advantage of alone time. In the morning, wake up a half hour before your family, boil water and add a squeeze of lemon, & retreat outside to listen to the world that surrounds you. If you are accustomed to waking up halfway through the day, then find a quiet place in your home, close your eyes, & listen to your breath. I have come across countless people who are incapable of alone time; however, if we can’t be alone with ourselves, how can we be alone with others?

Step Two: Discover your likes/dislikes/hopes/dreams. You don’t want to become that person who halfway through their life, discovers that they have been living according to someone else’s expectations. Don’t join a club just because your friends are. Branch out. Do something that interests you. I can assure you that you will meet people far more similar to yourself. Once you figure out what makes your heart tick & your mind race, don’t let it go. You may be one of the lucky individuals who is able to do what they love everyday (something that has become so rare).

Step Three: Learn to let go. Teenagers (girls especially) are constantly getting absorbed in ridiculous conflicts over boys, ditched plans, or silly name calling. Ask yourself: why do you care what anyone thinks of you? If you think you are the best version of yourself that you can be, then screw the people who have a problem with you. If they call you a bitch, who cares. If a boy breaks your heart, then it just was not meant to be. Move on, brush it off your shoulder, & be the mature one in the situation.

     Above all else, learn to love yourself. Love the birthmark on your stomach, the stretch marks on your thighs, your strengths & your weaknesses. By discovering who you are and staying true to your beliefs, you will never have to waste your time with people who can’t appreciate how wonderful you are.

this land is both yours & mine

"When I say I want to travel, I don't mean I want to stay at resorts & go on tours with tour guides or buy keychains from souvenir shops. I don't want to be a tourist. When I say I want to travel, I mean I want to explore another country & become part of it. I want to discover small coffee shops in Germany, Italy, & France. I want to walk on beaches in Australia & browse the book stores of England. I want to hike the Great Wall of China & go cliff diving in Hawaii. I want to meet people who are not like me, but who I can like all the same. I want to take pictures of things & places & the people I meet. I want my mind to be in constant awe of life on earth. I want to see things with new eyes. I want to look at a map & be able to remember how I was transformed by the places I've been to, the things I've seen, & the people I've met. I want to come home & realize that I have not come home whole, but have left a piece of my heart in each place I've been. This I think is what is at the heart of adventure & this is why I plan on making my life one."

Why can't this be my life? Why does the process of life and the progression of age have to be so cut & dry? Preschool, Kindergarten, Elementary School, Middle School, High School, first jobs, College, Career, death. Why is it that taking a spur of the moment road trip is not an option? Why can't all my money go toward taking a few trips to life altering destinations? The reason I chose to study journalism (as well as nutrition), was to be able to write what I see, and what most can't see. People all the way in Thailand, Pakistan, and Sweden should know what it is like to walk down the trails in Central Park (New York) in the midst of fall, or explore the quirky stores of New Hope, Pennsylvania. They should be able to feel the snowflakes resting on their eyelashes as a blizzard creeps through the desolate Vermont mountain tops. 

It is important to know what this world looks like and experience a sense of adventure while we are still on this earth. Together.  

Now or Never

I've had a thought. More of a realization. I am a total freaking dreamer. When I was just a tween, hiding behind under-eyeliner, I dreamt of the eiffel tower & ivy grown cottages in the hills. After abandoning my skinny jeans for sweats, sweats, and more sweats, it was simply to escape my small town. After reading Eat, Pray, Love, it was Bali (that dream has not faded). But now I am focusing on realistics, or trying to. On vacation I befriended/fell in love with a family from Santa Barbara who mentioned it only takes approximately a year to get residency in California. There was a lump in my throat and a sudden pulse in my heart. I kind of knew California would make an appearance somewhere in my future, but this sudden knowledge, right when I am on the verge of another transfer-- I just knew.

I plan to see it all: the large expanses of desert sand and cluttered cacti, national parks filled with trees of every species and the cleanest air you could find.

Listening to Angus & Julia Stone's new album, burning incense, and contemplating new adventures.

Travel is an experience that books just can not offer.

live free or die trying

There always seems to be a part of me that can not leave behind the constant scrutiny of my own criticism. After reading almost half of the spiritual novel The Power of Now (I kind of gave up), I realized I am a prisoner and my thoughts are the police. Not only am I being held down, but there is no escape. But according to the author, there is. My interpretation of living freely does not necessarily coincide with Eckhart Tolle's. Instead, I believe living freely comes after one abandons all judgement. When an individual can live in the moment without thinking of their plans days from now. When we can appreciate the small things in life.

To live freely is to ~ not judge those who do not meet the 'cultural norm'. take your time creating a beautiful meal. not to think about anytime but the present. dress for yourself. take risks. appreciate the grass under your toes, the sun on your face, and the trees keeping you cool.

All you have is this very moment.