Monday, October 20, 2014

The Loss of Human Connection

We all have heard constantly about the reprecutions of our reliance on technology: link to cancer, loss of human connection, obesity, depression, etc. It may be hard to admit, but we are guilty. We all enjoy that morning scroll through all our social media apps. We feel as though it is the most thorough way to contact that long lost college friend. But have we become so connected that we forget there was a time where we could be active, mindful individuals? 

Recently I was looking at Kim Kardashian's instagram of my best friend. Even after shes left, I can't help but look for any trace of her that I can. But what really pulled me under were the comments people would leave. One claimed she had no right to say "SJU '17" on her instagram because she wouldn't even live that long.. Have we seriously advanced so far as a society only to take gigantic leaps backward?
I was always that little girl who jumped to ask her mother if she had mail before she even entered the room. Any invitation, letter, or thank you card put me on top of the world. Those simple times when we didn't need to know what strangers were doing, wearing, or eating. 

I feel like it's so easy for human beings to detch themselves from one another. We all exist. We are all human beings. So put down your phone, and remember that we weren't created to live isolated from the rest of the world.

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

A Soul in the Sky

Saturday night, I lost my best friend.

I tried my best to prepare myself for the day I knew was approaching. She had been sick for so long and the past few months everything seemed to enter a downward spiral. But as a 19 year old, there is no way to fully accept the loss of your best friend to a devil like cancer.

Eight years I had known her and now we will no longer have a future to share together. We won't be able to travel the world in her van. We won't be able to move to California together. We won't be able to grow up into Golden Girls together.  I am still walking around in a haze. It is like a huge fog is overflowing my mind and clouding my thoughts. I so badly want to cry yet all I have experienced are small tears that dissapear as soon as they come.

The concept of death is so new to me. It was something I myself had debated for a long time before she saved me from my demons. It was something she comforted my through when my grandfather past away earlier this year. And now she is gone.

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Dating Yourself

(Posted originally in a contributation to Tumble Magazine)

I have constantly been faced with the challenge of figuring out my own intentions. Sometimes we get so absorbed in pleasing others, that we forget who we even are without the pressure of our peers breathing constantly down our necks. First & foremost, we have to ask ourselves why pleasing others is even important to us. Is it so we can feel like we are part of a whole? Or because we are afraid of the possibility of being alone? When you are able to answer that, you can finally approach the possibility of pleasing yourself before all else. 

Step One: Take advantage of alone time. In the morning, wake up a half hour before your family, boil water and add a squeeze of lemon, & retreat outside to listen to the world that surrounds you. If you are accustomed to waking up halfway through the day, then find a quiet place in your home, close your eyes, & listen to your breath. I have come across countless people who are incapable of alone time; however, if we can’t be alone with ourselves, how can we be alone with others?
Step Two: Discover your likes/dislikes/hopes/dreams. You don’t want to become that person who halfway through their life, discovers that they have been living according to someone else’s expectations. Don’t join a club just because your friends are. Branch out. Do something that interests you. I can assure you that you will meet people far more similar to yourself. Once you figure out what makes your heart tick & your mind race, don’t let it go. You may be one of the lucky individuals who is able to do what they love everyday (something that has become so rare).
Step Three: Learn to let go. Teenagers (girls especially) are constantly getting absorbed in ridiculous conflicts over boys, ditched plans, or silly name calling. Ask yourself: why do you care what anyone thinks of you? If you think you are the best version of yourself that you can be, then screw the people who have a problem with you. If they call you a bitch, who cares. If a boy breaks your heart, then it just was not meant to be. Move on, brush it off your shoulder, & be the mature one in the situation.
     Above all else, learn to love yourself. Love the birthmark on your stomach, the stretch marks on your thighs, your strengths & your weaknesses. By discovering who you are and staying true to your beliefs, you will never have to waste your time with people who can’t appreciate how wonderful you are.